There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
lol I changed what gay autocorrects to in my friends phone so he’ll stop using it as a derogatory term.
so i texted him pretending i was coming out of the closet and this is fantastic
Red-state conservatives may insist that the rest of us should keep aspirin between our knees and be forced to bear Divine Justice Babies if we don’t. They may refuse to provide cake or flowers for gay weddings, or even to attend. They may pretend that teens won’t do it if we just don’t tell them how. They may adopt the Church Lady posture if anyone mentions sex that doesn’t involve one man, one woman, the missionary position and a pulsing desire for more offspring.
But online search traffic from behind closed doors in Jesusland suggests that the bad, nasty, sexual impulses righteous believers are trying so hard to shut down may be their own. And if Google search patterns mean anything, they’re not succeeding too well: studies consistently demonstrate that people in conservative religious states search for adult materials online far more often than people in blue states.
Not surprising at all since many of those conservative beliefs about sex don’t really seem healthy and are really confusing.
And driving through Kentucky.. there are the most adult video stores I’ve ever seen. It be like a billboard with the 10 commandments on it… then two adult video stores.. then another billboard that says “hell is real!”
Republicans in Kansas are supporting the Democratic candidate for governor. Click here to watch Jessica Williams investigate.
"Tupac would be one, and there’s, uhhhhh ummm ..my kids listen to him all the time.. 50 nickles..and there’s ummmm eminem. OH that doesnt count?? ……*snaps fingers* oh and soldier man
When I first heard a Lego movie was coming out, I pretty much imagined this.
Welcome to fall aka flannels and beanies aka the most CONFUSING FUCKING SEASON FOR LESBIANS
There are over 70 documented cases of transplant patients experiencing the same thoughts and feelings as their organ donors did in life. People report everything from craving the donors’ favorite foods, to inheriting their talents. It’s posed a theory that the cells in our body can store memories. Source
Dave, alex, damon and graham ..(via dirty-old-friend)
have you ever watched an episode of something that was so horrible you just sat there afterward like did a group of people really read this script and say ‘wow great idea’