There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

(Source: meidosuji, via pissyeti)

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(Source: best-of-memes, via lunafanning)

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lol I changed what gay autocorrects to in my friends phone so he’ll stop using it as a derogatory term.

so i texted him pretending i was coming out of the closet and this is fantastic



(via bootyshorts-and-bowlegs)

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old stuff.

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The “Bible Belt” is the Porn Belt: Surprised?


Red-state conservatives may insist that the rest of us should keep aspirin between our knees and be forced to bear Divine Justice Babies if we don’t. They may refuse to provide cake or flowers for gay weddings, or even to attend. They may pretend that teens won’t do it if we just don’t tell them how. They may adopt the Church Lady posture if anyone mentions sex that doesn’t involve one man, one woman, the missionary position and a pulsing desire for more offspring.

But online search traffic from behind closed doors in Jesusland suggests that the bad, nasty, sexual impulses righteous believers are trying so hard to shut down may be their own. And if Google search patterns mean anything, they’re not succeeding too well: studies consistently demonstrate that people in conservative religious states search for adult materials online far more often than people in blue states. 

Not surprising at all since many of those conservative beliefs about sex don’t really seem healthy and are really confusing.

And driving through Kentucky.. there are the most adult video stores I’ve ever seen. It be like a billboard with the 10 commandments on it… then two adult video stores.. then another billboard that says “hell is real!” 


(via dynastylnoire)

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Republicans in Kansas are supporting the Democratic candidate for governor. Click here to watch Jessica Williams investigate.

"Tupac would be one, and there’s, uhhhhh ummm kids listen to him all the time.. 50 nickles..and there’s ummmm eminem. OH that doesnt count?? ……*snaps fingers* oh and soldier man

(via dynastylnoire)

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"Codependency isn’t sexy. It isn’t romantic. It’s built with a fuse and will surely burn out. The healthiest thing you can say to the one you love is, “I would be okay without you, and that’s why I choose to stay.”"

LB, A Few Things About Love (via lilgivenchyprincess)

(via dynastylnoire)

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When I first heard a Lego movie was coming out, I pretty much imagined this.

(via lunafanning)

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Welcome to fall aka flannels and beanies aka the most CONFUSING FUCKING SEASON FOR LESBIANS

(via lunafanning)

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There are over 70 documented cases of transplant patients experiencing the same thoughts and feelings as their organ donors did in life. People report everything from craving the donors’ favorite foods, to inheriting their talents. It’s posed a theory that the cells in our body can store memories. Source

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Do you read your own tarot cards? Check this out. Click here!

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"Nick can have the pub, Jamie can have the farm, Matt can have the solo record and I’ll have the breakdown."

Alex Turner on the future, GQ magazine October 2013 (via iwantabrickbybrick)

Dave, alex, damon and graham ..

(via dirty-old-friend)

(via frenchtoastandpolitics)

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have you ever watched an episode of something that was so horrible you just sat there afterward like did a group of people really read this script and say ‘wow great idea’


(via frenchtoastandpolitics)

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(Source: butt-berry, via yaexrae)

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